Well, monogamy just creates non-sexual women because emotional needs can NEVER be 100% met when needed. A woman alone is forced to do the thinking of 3 women. The more she thinks the less pleasure she feels and the less sexual she is. And or at it’s worst sexuality and all that it encompasses doesn’t exist. Often times it feels wrong to be sexual.
The next step taken, turning to substances is the “only way possible.” Those eventually stop working too. All attempts for her sexuality cease to work. Replaced by all negative emotions. Insanity.
So, what I need. In monogamy.
Husband to be more at work
A long lasting penis
Technology and hired help to replace the other women.
Fun and healthy Indulgences
I don’t even get some of this in monogamy at the moment, because of needing to fix my body and installing routines. And my emotional capacity.
My husband has had to live another role than his own, temporarily. And he’s been here more than we both want. Which in turn has made him a part of the usual scenery and therefore caused my emotional disinterest in sex. And when we do have sex it feels wrong because I’m making love to an IT. Not a man and not a woman. Making love, confused. Physically, I still need sex and it relieves. But, I’m starting to feel like a pressure cooker ready to explode because the loss of my sexuality. Which is completely circumstantial. BUT, my emotional brain DOESN’T UNDERSTAND. My emotional brain says this is how I will feel FOREVER.
I’m faced with worry and anxiety because of that fear. Will I EVER be sexual again.
That I will only be able to be sexual when we do marry the other two; legally, lawfully and rightfully. Giving all of us equal security and equal stance with each other.
I’m really scared.
That until then, ill be driven by need and not desire.