I’m in for a lot of temporary pain. I know this because…. Anyway, the women that we bring in won’t be as burdened as me. And burden determines sexual excitement.
I won’t be able to be as sexually excited as they are for some time. I don’t know how long. But, once I have the consistent feminine needs in place, help around the house and my husbands increased and needed absence….things will begin to equalize. I’ll be free, emotionally.
But, the transition I’m dreading cause I know I’ll suffer. I’ll have two more “kids” because of their ignorance. They don’t know what we know. They don’t understand kids and safety. All these things that I’ll be weighted down will, ON TOP of my broken sexuality.
Victory lays in the vicinity of pain. I know….At least I have husband to help me through.
I’m scared of me. My emotions. What I will feel. Jealousy……sexual rejection of not being able to have sexual excitement yet and they will, these ARE THE WORST FEELINGS.
To not feel good enough, like damaged goods. I’m scared of the pain. I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared. I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want negative emotions. I don’t want my negative emotions CONTROLLING ME ANYMORE!!
This is THE ONLY WAY!