Today you are not going to know when we are going to have sex.
We were on the bed ready to initiate coitus……When he suddenly jumped off the bed. “Lets go for a run!”
I started to question him… “aren’t we going to continue”? In my head i’m wondering “when else are we going to have sex?!” He said, “come.” I’ve been awesome at all of the submission stuff since I realized how important it was. I let him choose the speed which we ran. Also, we didn’t have sex until later that evening. Which I remembered quite well as fun. All other details are vague. However, I DO remember that just before bedtime he just stuck his hand in my vagina and started stimulating me haha. I couldn’t stop laughing. Just for the fact that I wanted to go to sleep and I had chosen to be submissive right. So, this whole battle of I want to sleep but, I should go with is (submissive); was going on inside. I was laughing hysterically. I was like i had short circuited……… to laughter!. Because of so much information running through my head. At the same I said, “I can’t believe this.” Also, while this happened: to my shocked surprise I was actually turned on by it. It FELT GOOD!!…….?? Most days I can’t help but laugheat his alpha male approaches. Because Im still learning how to respond and just go with it. Since, I am still in the process of submitting and still having to let go of past emotional associations and make new ones. Hence the laughing…New positive association input.
So, I’ve been super awesome at being submissive. I let him choose when to have sex, how we have sex, when he works how he works. Within boundaries of course don’t want him going in to self deception territory thinking I have endless amount of energy, or don’t have my own priorities. I must be treated with respect, importance, and value. I have feelings, desires, suggestions, and dreams too. But, other than that I basically consented that…he owns me. I’m his here to serve him. Why else did I get married? My kids won’t listen to their father if I don’t and that is a big problem. If duplicated…Yikes.