Day 113, amazing oral I performed. I enjoy him having Brazilian waxes. I love licking his balls especially. I am in lone with his soft genitals. Especially his balls. I like to play with them with my hands and tongue! Yum. Soft and suck able. Sex is becoming frustrations because of our desire to improve.
Day 114. I realized that I have developed a small fear of orgasming. I fear how I behave and feel the days after the orgasm. My energy is so precious to me being a home mother that it hurts to think of what happens during an outward flowing orgasm. But, I have to orgasm in order for me to learn how to play with the energy. How to harness the energy how to direct the flow etc. if I don’t orgasm how can I practice playing with my energy if there is nothing to play with???? I am scared of the pain and trial that I will have to go through in order to learn inward flowing orgasms. But, pain lays in the vicinity of victory. No pain no gain. Everything we want us outside our comfort zone. Please oh please help me to get through this with an awareness of my attitude and ability to control my tongue and how i respond to challenges in my life and be low strung. I need as many prayers as i can get!!! Help me to get consistent orgasms so I can learn to keep my sexual energy inside my body and just get it done and over with.
I read my first sexual story today about a woman who had 3 orgasms. If she can I can.
We got quite frustrated after our sex because we both want change. Only when you attach enough pain to an old way of doing something will a person let go , jump over the gap and grab on to a new way of doing something.
The start of changing my thinking about sex and the road to clitoral healing and inward flowing orgasms.