So we are coming to a uphill again in our sex. The past three days.: Noticing correlations between oral and being turned on. And learning new things. Today i laughed a lot and i am very happy but, yet it lingers. My hubby and I had a heated discussion about everything that is not right and the fact is we came again to the conclusion to the fact that amazing sex will make us feel satisfied no matter what goes wrong no matter what is missing.
I know I can over come anything with research, experimenting and daily practice. Oh but, I’m battling off the thoughts of ” there is something seriously wrong with me” but, whenever people believe that voice, it’s always just before the magic happens. I feel like there is this HUGE wall! It makes me cry vast it feels. Like there is a long way to go. But, I know I can do it with time and enough pain that contributes to building my desire for the real thing. I can’t blame anyone because no one can change my thoughts except my self. I will freaking get there!
Things get the toughest just before break throughs. God give me strength, vision, courage and and openness that will help continue in a uplifting manner instead of a ” I’m just surviving”. I am happy because I know I will get there. I’ve set a goal. I will until! Just want penis and vagina sex. I want to be turned on because of my thoughts and not because I beat my clitoris numb. Just like that girl in the story. She only thought about stuff and she got wet. I want that.